11:23 am on 2.26.24
The phone is on speaker phone, it's ringing the line to the rehab center where my husband has been for the past two weeks. No one is answering, maybe it's lunchtime or they might be in group.
He was diagnosed with Bipolar I and started medication for it. I have a lot to learn and to understand about it, not quite sure where to start just yet.
I'm hoping he'll have a solid follow-up plan and actually stay on his medication and not go back to using, but I also know that's an extremely high hope.
I, myself, had been staying with my oldest daughter and her family (husband, 3 children including a newborn and their dog). They live in the mountains of Pennsylvania and I was with them for three weeks, helping around the home while my daughter recovered from another C-section delivery.
Being with them was a beautiful experience - and my daughter and I agreed it was healing for both of us. Up until recently, we've had a strained relationship due to my alcoholism, but it's been over 12 years since I've last had a drink and I've been following a 12-step program all along, so now we are able to rebuild the bond that was broken. It's really so cool, such a blessing. She gave me a card that says "Thanks for being someone we can depend on ... " and inside she wrote a really precious, thoughtful message for me. As wonderful as it felt to read those words, it was so foreign to be referred to like that by any of my children -- they all say sweet things and share their love and affection with me, but to be someone they can depend on ... thank you, God - I never thought I could be that person for them, as much as I wanted to.
I loved spending time with my grandchildren too, oh wow, was that cool. It was fun getting to see and interact with their little personalities, as opposed to just seeing photos or a few minutes on Facetime. So I'm really grateful all around for the entire blessing of having that time with them.
Back in September, almost October, my son and his boyfriend had moved in with us temporarily. It was only supposed to be for a few weeks. Five months later, the shit hit the fan and I had to give them a "gentle ultimatum" ... if they didn't leave by the end of the month, I'd have to pack up their stuff and put it in storage.
Their overstay took a toll on my marriage, sadly, but I do recognize and believe everything happens for a reason.
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